OVER IT

I am very over being sick. I am sure you are VERY over reading about me whining about being sick. Here it is 2 in the morning and I am up with a sore throat AGAIN. What the fuck? Yesterday I thought I was maybe getting better because my throat was FINALLY feeling some relief and here it is feeling like it has been rubbed raw with very coarse sandpaper.

Don't you wish you were me?

Home Sick

Being home sick sucks. I mean I enjoy sitting at home and watching TV instead of going to work, but sitting at home and feeling like ASS watching TV instead of going to work is just not as fun.

And when did the Maury show become so trashy? I mean I totally love the shows when the girl goes on and is 105% sure that this guy is her baby's daddy because she has NEVER slept with anyone else and then the test comes back negative. So then the girl crumbles to the ground screaming and crying and Maury asks if there is someone else that could possibly be the father... and of course she then names like 8 other men.

But today the Maury Show was looking for mothers who have want to confess to their daughters that they are sleeping with their boyfriend/husband. Too far Maury... you're turning into Jerry Springer...

first "run" of the new season

Scheduled: 5 miles
Actual: 4.17 miles
Time: 1:02:34 minutes
Pace: 15:01 minutes/mile

CES Winter Warriors started this week and since I still can't run, I decided to cover the distance walking. My throat started feeling sore Saturday but I didn't really think much of it. Sunday it was still feeling sore but overall the rest of me felt fine, so I bundeled up and tried to get my run in before it started to snow. I walked down Addison to the lakfront, around a park and up to Irving Park. Each minute that went by the more sick I started to feel. It started in my chest and by the time I hit Ashland I felt like absolute shit. Around this same time it started to rain. Luckily I only had a few blocks left but as I hit Grace, it started to hail. Yes you heard me correctly... HAIL. WHAT THE FUCK??? So I sprinted to my place and finished short of 5 miles.

After my "run" I could not get warm. I stood next to the open oven to try and get some relief but nothing helped. After dinner I took a Tylonol PM and passed out before 7. Normally I would be out cold for the rest of the night but I have been waking up every 45 minutes or so either sweating or shivering excessively. My throat is killing me and we have no tea or a teapot so I boiled some water in a pot and am drinking that. Being sick SUCKS BALLS. Especially when I had a STUPID FUCKING FLU SHOT!!! What the hell?? Seriously?

Trader Todd's

What does MULTIPLE captain and diets combinded with Proud Mary look like?

no running

On Monday I had a questionable mole removed from my shin. Due to the size and depth and use of a stitch I have been told that I can not run for 1 month. ONE FUCKING MONTH. I am upset, angry, and feeling like a fucking fat sluggish fatty mcfat fat.

Is there a couch?

I will preface this with I am sorry if this entry is all over the place… I have been trying to write it for a while and finally I decided to just write and get it out. So bear with me.

A little while ago I met Neighbor Tom. We have been on a few dates and I am starting to like him. I am having huge issues though. Neighbor Tom is incredibly nice, sweet, good with my friends, willing to do whatever I want, even drank Captain and coke when he hates Captain…

But I am finding myself being a super socially awkward, no filter, bitch around him… even though I like him.

I 100% blame the EX for this. He has jaded all future relationships I am destined to have with nice guys. Part of me is feeling put off by Neighbor Tom being so nice. I know… WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? I should feel flattered that someone wants to be nice to me and instead I am turning into a freak.

Last night Ash and I very briefly stopped by a party he was throwing. He was super excited to introduce me to my friends, and I became cold and sarcastic. At one point during a weird part of the conversation when no one was talking I blurted out sarcastically “Wow this is an awesome party…” Why would I say that??? What is wrong with me?

The EX… his friends were the biggest douche bags in the whole entire world. They basically ignored me because I wasn’t skinny enough and didn’t wear designer clothes. Like we would all be hanging out and I wouldn’t be spoken to by anyone other than the EX for hours. They would walk into a room and say hi to everyone EXCEPT me. I felt invisible. So I developed a fuck them all exterior. And I can’t seem to shake it.

From the time I was a junior in high school and started date the EX until about a year ago I have almost constantly been in some sort of relationship. For the past year though I have been single and really found myself again. I am scared to death of losing me again. There have been a few times since I have started seeing Neighbor Tom that he has mentioned something that involves me and him together further in the future then the end of the night. This is slightly freaking me out.

So what do I do? Advice would be greatly appreciated…

Smells like...

A conversation between me and Ash...

Me: I am going to smell like midnight pomegranate tonight if that's OK with you.

Ash: I'd rather you smell like midnight pomegranate then daytime pomegranate.

Me: Or Shart.